Are you at the Helm for FML Moments?
It is hard to get everything arranged just the way we like it to so that we can be relaxed and content.
Reacting to the heat, cold, noise, persons around you or conditions you are in can seem to be the answer, if only it weren’t so cold, if only these people weren’t being so load, if…… if only that obstacle were to go away, something better will take its place and then I will find contentment.
Yet it is inevitable that there will be another obstacle that is hypothetically making some other wave of discontent arise and making contentment unattainable. We end up craving and dissatisfied rather than being in that state we chronically seek to find. It’s hard to admit we actually create our own discomfort by seeking to make things different from what they are. As though getting things in our surroundings to fit us would be the means to us feeling better. When we go out into the world unsuspectingly our minds have a tendency of allowing the waves to take us off keel and create discontentment. Every day, things happen, people cut you off, say things that you don’t like, treat you unfairly, you don’t dress appropriately for the weather, the barista got your drink wrong. Whatever sets things into motion to seemingly intentionally set you off into a barrage of ARGH and FML moments…… but we let it… It’s like getting sucked into an undertow that pulls you into the vortex swirling in the wrong direction. Yeah it was a crap day which is then followed up with its story keeping us there in the miserable storm that is actually a thing of the past.
The difficult part is to then just stop. Stop measuring, stop confusing feelings with thoughts. What I mean by this that it is important to become familiar with ourselves, our minds, and our habits and the ways we inadvertently create those waves into our own discontent. Rather than trying to make ourselves more comfortable the trick is to consciously allow the expansion of our comfort zone and recognize that we create our own discomfort.
When we take interest in this idea we get familiar with the difference between our feelings and thoughts. Thoughts seduce us, tempt us to get hooked on the story line about feelings and emotions that have already changed and dissolved. When we stay with our feelings and relax through the habitual thought responses we begin to get familiar with the flow of personal experience. If we stay cognizant to the things that continue to arise and dissolve, take a deep breath and recognize that it is not permanent, just as you are experiencing it if you wait it out change will soon come..
It’s like that with every feeling and sensation that comes up. So the toughest thing to do is to stop, breathe look inside ourselves for growth, practice witnessing our lives, pay attention and allow ourselves to be more curious about the way things are rather than focusing on how we may be able to manipulate the situation to fit our current desires. Work towards trying to re-establish equilibrium from moment to moment to ride the noise and silence, hot and cold, yes and no, joy and sorrow more like a ship rolling over the waves rather than the constant barrage of being immersed in the sea looking for a course correction. It is taking the helm inside our own minds that we can become nimble, curious and resilient. Our options and inner peace expand as we become more aware, more understanding of our idiosyncrasies and trust in ourselves. ~Love the life you are living~